Disharmoni dalam hubungan

Baru-baru ini saya membaca salah satu koran terkenal yang menyebutkan adanya suatu disharmoni dalam hubungan keluarga di Indonesia.

Peristiwanya terjadi di Bandung. Suami beristri 3, ngamuk sehingga melakukan tindakan KDRT (kekerasan dalam rumah tangga) pada istri pertamanya. Istri pertamanya ini dibawa ke RS oleh warga sekitarnya dan meninggal seminggu kemudian. Ironi kehidupan memang.

Dalam hal ini siapakah yang menjadi alasan untuk orang melakukan tindakan seperti ini. Alasannya memang terlihat mengada-ngada, hanyalah karena istrinya meminta suaminya menemani anak mereka yang sakit. Sedangkan suami ini sudah punya "janji" terjadwal dengan istri no 2 nya.

Orang pintar membagi 4 kategori sifat orang yakni Koleris, Melankoli, Sanguin dan Plegmatis. Koleris memiliki sifat "mengatur" dan memiliki keinginan untuk mengarahkan serta memiliki tujuan dalam setiap hal yang dilakukannya. Ia ini sedikit berantakan.  Melankoli memiliki sifat "terjadwal" dan semuanya diatur sesuai dengan jadwal tertentu serta kebiasaan serta peletakan barang-barang yang sangat teratur. Ia ini disebut si-rapi. Sanguin memiliki sifat "gembira/riang" semua hal dilakukan dengan gembira dan senang, beda dengan kedua sifat sebelumnya, ia disebut pemecah kebekuan, sekaligus disebut si-berantakan. Kebiasaannya membuat kegembiraan sekaligus berantakan. Plegmatis memiliki sifat "pengalah dan cinta damai". Dia bisa cocok pada ketiga sifat sebelumnya. Kalau laki-laki disebut kebapakan, Kalau perempuan disebut keibuan. Terlihat bijaksana dan gampang stress dan depresi. Kita sebagai manusia memiliki keempatnya dalam diri kita. Hanya saja kita cenderung menonjolkan hanya satu atau dua sifat tersebut. Dalam kehidupan keseharian, kombinasi dari keempatnya sering kita temui pada diri kita dan orang-orang disekitar kita.

Kembali ke awal artikel ini, suami yang beristri 3 ini memiliki kombinasi Koleris dan Melankolis. Jadi orangnya kalau sudah memiliki tujuan yang terjadwal, dia tidak akan mau berubah sedikitpun. Sedangkan istri pertanya cenderung Plegmatis, hal ini mementingkan orang lain diatas kepentingannya sendiri. Jadi dalam hal ini dia merasa berhak untuk minta suaminya untuk memperhatikan anak mereka.

JADI, bila suami dan istri ini sudah mengenali sifat masing-masing. HARUSNYA tindakan diatas tidak terjadi.  Kenali orang sekitar kita, pahami diri kita sendiri, banyak kasus yang tidak perlu terjadi.

Demikian ulasan saya.

The Five Love Languages

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1995 book by Gary Chapman. It outlines five ways to express love that Chapman calls "love languages": gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. 

Chapman argues that, emotionally, people need to receive love. He also writes that people should not use the love languages that they like the most but rather the love languages that their loved ones can receive.

What's your love language?

Chapman helps us learn that our spouse (and of course overselves) have basically 5 love languages, or five unique ways that we experience love.

Titik Balik/ Tipping Point

Tipping Poin adalah istilah bahasa Inggris untuk titik balik. Titi Balik adalah titik dimana pada saat kita mengalami suatu hal yang buruk/baik, kemudian secara mendadak berubah 180 derajat. 

Hal ini bisa terjadi disekeliling kita, dikehidupan kita. Masalahnya kita sering tidak menyadarinya. Tau-tau sudah berubah begitu saja. Kita sering menyebutnya takdir yang tidak diundang/ Keuntungan yang mendadak. 

Masalahnya tidak ada yang namanya "tidak diundang" dan "keuntungan mendadak". Semuanya melalui proses hukum alam yang kita sebut hukum "tarik-menarik" yang MIRIP dengan hukum "gravitasi" yang kita kenal dalam kehidupan keseharian.

Mencermati dan mengerti serta menyesuaikan diri itu saja yang diminta dalam hukum tarik menarik ini. 


The Tipping Point:
 How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference

Gladwell defines a tipping point as "the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point." The book seeks to explain and describe the "mysterious" sociological changes that mark everyday life. As Gladwell states, "Ideas and products and messages and behaviors spread like viruses do." The examples of such changes in his book include the rise in popularity and sales of Hush Puppies shoes in the mid-1990s and the steep drop in the New York City crime rate after 1990.

The three rules

Malcolm Gladwell describes the "three rules of epidemics" (or the three "agents of change") in the tipping points of epidemics.

The Law of the Few

"The Law of the Few", or, as Malcolm Gladwell states, "The success of any kind of social epidemic is heavily dependent on the involvement of people with a particular and rare set of social gifts."According to Malcolm Gladwell, economists call this the "80/20 Principle, which is the idea that in any situation roughly 80 percent of the 'work' will be done by 20 percent of the participants." (see Pareto Principle) These people are described in the following ways:

• Connectors, are the people in a community who know large numbers of people and who are in the habit of making introductions. A connector is essentially the social equivalent of a computer network hub. They usually know people across an array of social, cultural, professional, and economic circles, and make a habit of introducing people who work or live in different circles. They are people who "link us up with the world ... people with a special gift for bringing the world together." They are "a handful of people with a truly extraordinary knack [... for] making friends and acquaintances" Malcolm Gladwell characterizes these individuals as having social networks of over one hundred people. To illustrate, he cites the following examples: the midnight ride of Paul Revere, Milgram's experiments in the small world problem, the "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" trivia game, Dallas businessman Roger Horchow, and Chicagoan Lois Weisberg, a person who understands the concept of the weak tie. Gladwell attributes the social success of Connectors to the fact that "their ability to span many different worlds is a function of something intrinsic to their personality, some combination of curiosity, self-confidence, sociability, and energy."

• Mavens are "information specialists", or "people we rely upon to connect us with new information." They accumulate knowledge, especially about the marketplace, and know how to share it with others. Gladwell cites Mark Alpert as a prototypical Maven who is "almost pathologically helpful", further adding, "he can't help himself" In this vein, Alpert himself concedes, "A Maven is someone who wants to solve other people's problems, generally by solving his own".According to Gladwell, Mavens start "word-of-mouth epidemics" due to their knowledge, social skills, and ability to communicate. As Malcolm Gladwell states, "Mavens are really information brokers, sharing and trading what they know"^.

• Salesmen are "persuaders", charismatic people with powerful negotiation skills. They tend to have an indefinable trait that goes beyond what they say, which makes others want to agree with them. Malcolm Gladwell's examples include California businessman Tom Gau and news anchor Peter Jennings, and he cites several studies about the persuasive implications of non-verbal cues, including a headphone nod study (conducted by Gary Wells of the University of Alberta and Richard Petty of the University of Missouri) and William Condon's cultural microrhythms study.

The stickiness factor

The specific content of a message that renders its impact memorable. Popular children's television programs such as Sesame Street and Blue's Clues pioneered the properties of the stickiness factor, thus enhancing the effective retention of the educational content in tandem with its entertainment value.

The power of context

Human behavior is sensitive to and strongly influenced by its environment. As Malcolm Gladwell says, "Epidemics are sensitive to the conditions and circumstances of the times and places in which they occur." For example, "zero tolerance" efforts to combat minor crimes such as fare-beating and vandalism on the New York subway led to a decline in more violent crimes city-wide. Gladwell describes the bystander effect, and explains how Dunbar's number plays into the tipping point, using Rebecca Wells' novel Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, evangelist John Wesley, and the high-tech firm W. L. Gore and Associates.Malcolm Gladwell also discusses what he dubs the rule of 150, which states that the maximum number of individuals in a society or group that someone can have real social relationships with is 150^.

Make Money Fast and Easy Online Today!

Are you alarmed with the current economic circumstances? Indeed, there is a reason to be. Now here is the good news. You can stop worrying because there is a way to make money fast and easy by going online today!

Are you worried about your due bills? What about an unexpected expense? With the changing of the season, it is sure to give your electric bills a boost. Talk about another problem! Scrambling for some resources can give you a pain in the neck. Never leave your bills unpaid because there is a pertinent way on how you can make money fast and easy by simply exploring the net!

While these tips may not give you the opportunity to become a millionaire in an instant, you can bank on them to save you from a strenuous day. Settling your due bills and covering for the rest of your financial woes is easy and fast. Buckle up and welcome these ideas on how to make money fast and easy!

Tip #1. Browse through the various job boards online. They have lots of offers in store for you. In the job boards you will find the opportunities to be employed online. Among the included job offers are filling out of surveys, writing product reviews, article writing, blogging, and many more. Along with the contact references, you can earn money in no time!

Tip #2. Join online crafts marketplace. Do you have the heart for making handcrafted stuffs? Then you can sell your products online. Just register for your account and then you will find other users who can help you out. Plus, you have the chance to attain marketability for your handcrafted products.

Tip #3. Search for Project PayDay. It hosts videos that provide a bit of training for someone who wants to earn money online. The instructional videos will allow you to learn a lot of things and discover your inner skills.

Tip #4. Do eBay. New or in mint condition, you can always sell your stuff. With the popularity of online shopping these days, people are going to purchase your goods. They bid and you let the highest bidder win and get your product. It is what is known as online auction.

Tip #5. Make and sell EBooks. Whether they are recipes, financial training, dog training, and the likes, you can always express your authority on the matter by coming up with an EBook. You can also opt to sell the rights to it if you wish to.

Tip #6. Offer a consultation. Maybe you are a business specialist or something, then you can gain clients online. They will be very happy to hire you as a life coach, so to speak.

The list simply goes on. You have a lot of options to choose from. The best thing to do to make money fast and easy online is to explore the available opportunities and recognize your own skills.

True enough, you will spot the best idea to make money fast and easy!

Tendency to ignore negative information

One of the great dangers of success is the tendency to ignore or discount negative information about ourselves or our business. This tendency sometimes make us in shadow relationship in workplace.

In shadow relationship real friendship-sharing the self that lies below the pleasant suface and trusting someone with sensitive information - becomes impossible. It's too common scenario that, as the achiever rises, old friends are gradually dropped and only sycophants and bringers of good news are allowed in.

First of all we have to make health environment relationship. Don't use many punishment rule. You have to be more polite and an honest information needed to sustain succes becomes.

The leader in shadow relationship, who now gets only carefully filtered feedback, is operating in partial darkness, missing important signals that should be heeded.

Five Ways To Guarantee A Failing Business

No one has ever started a home business with the intention of failing, yet there are five things they can do to make sure their business has little or no chance of succeeding. While most people bent on starting their own home business are convinced they have all the right answers, they quickly find out that if they really try they can run it right into the ground.

1- Lack of management experience, 2 - Improper budget allocation, 3 - No professionalism, 4 - Lack of credibility, 5 - Lack of business promotion.

Lack of management experience is the most common source of failure. Many home businesses are begun by individuals with no management or supervisory experience at all. They believe that since they are pretty darn good at doing their job and a few people may be willing to pay them to do it for them, they can set up a file cabinet at home and start their own business. They have no idea what to put in the file cabinet, they just know that all offices have one and they will need one as well.

Their lack of management experience can be exacerbated by their lack of dealing with personnel issues, but since they are the only one employed by the business this is not going to be a big problem until they realize they have no health insurance. That was something the personnel manager took care of.

As money starts to come in from the first jobs, the new owner may have to pay some bills right way and often the money is spent without regard to the best way to allocate the funds. They forget about the business expenses and spend everything on personal needs and wants. After all, it is their business and the money is all theirs, right?

Failure to present a professional environment will also lead to a business's downfall, no matter what type of business it is. Even a one-person shop needs to show their customers that they are a viable business and can act and look professional. This will also help them be presented as a credible business. Most people are becoming used to the idea of dealing with owners of home-based businesses, but most look for signs of them being credible.

If your industry or state requires a business license, you will need to get one and post it in you office. A membership in industry organizations can also help lift the credibility rating and make more people more comfortable in dealing with you. Believe it or not, even placing advertisement in the local newspapers can ad to your credibility.

Lack of advertising and promotion is another sure way of running the business into the ground. If the general public has no idea that your business is open and what services you offer, your friends and relatives will not have enough business to keep your head above water. So if you are positive you want your business to fail, start it on a whim with no plan for how to spend the money, don't advertise it and only change your clothes when the family won't speak to you.

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